I can’t wait to see the hits that title produces. The google search terms that land people on this page are just a smidge ridiculous. “Boobs” I can sort of see, since one post had that title. But “Boob punch?” “Boob wrestle?” I suppose these could be women looking for training advice. But who the hell searches for “naked woman boobs” and then clicks on a website listed as BoxWrestleFence? Well…I suppose this first paragraph is now SEO magic. I’d apologize to all the disgruntled young men that have now landed on this page by “accident,” but bluntly…to hell with you little sexist bastards.
I’ve written before about how I grew up as a sexist little twerp, and had it beaten out of me. I’m not the only one to have grown and changed. It only takes one generation for huge change to take place. I grew up in a crappy neighbourhood, with what we call these days a multicultural focus. Racism wasn’t a thing that some people were…it was something that everyone was. Which is why my first real social experiences were the experiences of being in a gang, beating up other kids for money. I remember that I loved licorice babies in those days, although we did not call them by that name. Homosexuality was a bluntly terrifying thing. This was in kindergarten. By the time I was twenty, that kind of thinking or worldview seemed completely impossible. This was the future, we’d all grown up. We would leave evil behind to never be seen again. Right…
So here we are, twenty years after that monumental change, and the same shit is starting to show up everywhere. Only now, we’ve got people saying we should stop making such a big deal out of it. You don’t have to look hard to see someone chewing out a women for daring to be even a little feminist…telling her, in effect, that such thinking is dated and no longer needed. Telling her that she should basically sit down and shut up about something that everyone knows, and to stop ruining our enjoyment of boobies in games. Feminists are the new whiners, it appears.
Uh huh. I’m gonna say Youtube commentators prove that we still need, or perhaps need more than ever, strong messages of equality. And you, you are automatically going to say “Yeah, but that’s youtube…” and dismiss my point, aren’t you? “It’s a lost hellhole, just ignore it.” You say. Except…that hellhole is made that way by your kids. Your nieces and nephews. Your neighbours kids. They act that way because they have learned laziness from you. Because you taught them no moral lessons to counterbalance what they learned running in internet packs, making their own little lords of the flies on countless islands. Instead of rescuing them, you sit back on your boat, pour another drink, and enjoy your cheap entertainment. It’s safe…those kids will never grow up and become our next generation of leaders, after all. They’ll never undo all our progress. Things just don’t change that fast.
I started training in martial arts because rape exists. I continued to train because it still continued to be thing that affected the people around me. I turned myself into an angry little killing machine so I could be at least one source of potential safety. When I matured, I put my energy into giving women the capability of being their own little angry killing machines, when needed. There are animals out there in human form, and we always have to guard against them…but most of the damage, most of the harm, is done not by animals but by people who don’t understand that what they are doing is wrong. And we are failing to teach right from wrong.
A warrior is someone who sacrifices everything for love of the universe. Stoicism teaches us that justice is the virtue of aiding those in need, and ensuring the safety of our community…and that we are not being a rational human being unless we practice that virtue. Martial arts training is for warriors. Capo Ferro teaches us that the word fencing comes from the word for defence. When you pick up your sword, remember that you are inheriting not just skills from your ancestors, but ideals. They may have failed to live up to those ideals, but they tried. You’re going to fail, too…but you owe us, all of us, at least the effort of trying.
There are a lot of vibrant, powerful, and fun women in the WMA community. They don’t need any help. But they do need the men around them to act as if those women are part of their community, even when the women aren’t in the room to overhear what you say. They do need you to really examine your sense of humour, and to really think about what kind of influence your words have. Let go of your expectations of the world, let go of your experiences, realized that the world is a little bigger than just how you prefer to see it. Remember what that sword in your hand is for. It’s not for making you feel better about yourself, it’s for making the world a better place.