End of month

I do occasionally use a sword, myself.

One more day and officially move from the "brainstorm" phase of working on the sequel to Anubis War, and into the research phase. Which is going to mean reading a few more books on social structure and physics, mostly.

Work on the first book in the Salish Rift series continues to kick along nicely. At the half-way mark, and sitting just shy of 50k words. Still hitting my 600 words a day goal. Not likely to get beyond that for a while, as doing so would mean a much more involved planning session for each writing shift. There is only so much you can do while still working full time. That's a hard limit.

I can push for more words, but there is a cost. Words are paid for with the brain being put in a special place, a place that has to be prepared for by loading up the creative engine, which means taking the effort to put the mind into a place that is not comfortable or familiar. Only from this place can you see things from a fresh perspective. A perspective removed from the comfortable rhythms and patterns of daily life.

It's okay to pay that cost, but you have to constantly balance it with the need to be present in your daily life. If you spend too much time in the writing liminal space, you are stealing from the rest of your life. You may not notice it for a while, but eventually you will feel disconnected from the rest of your life, and your creative engine will burn out.

This is especially difficult when you've spent the majority of your life working to fill the needs of others over your own. The struggle to retain your own time, to "own" your own mind, also takes a lot of effort. It's another cost that has to be paid. I'm learning to be okay with allolwing myself to have my own needs and to prioritize them, but it still takes work to shake off the lash of guilt and vicious words from my past. It's a process. I'm improving, but the cost still needs to be paid for progress. It's somewhat like having a huge loan to pay off. It may not be possible to pay it off in your lifetime, but sometimes events happen and a huge chunk of that loan gets paid off, and what is left is a reasonable amount. I've been lucky to be with a partner who's helped me reduce that loan to the point where only small bits are left to be paid out, and I'm almost ready to start saving for myself.

Randy Packer

Randy Packer